Forwards
by ZiverNavyCIS
Summary: "We weren't meant to be, Tony." Their foreheads close, Tony and Ziva share a conversation on a deep personal level, threatening to leave them both hanging in ache. Tiva one-shot; speculation tag to 11x02


_**I don't know what got into me, but I am home, sick and really bored from studying so here's a one-shot. Hope it's okay. Please review and thank you! - Sharmane**_

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"We aren't meant to be, Tony."

Six words from her was all it took; to still his world. Her eyes earnest, she spoke quietly, her words resonating to and fro in his head. Her wild hair brushed against her tanned countenance, as she pinched her lips tightly, averting his gaze. The fractured sunlight shone on them both, as their chests rose up and down in sync. The leaves rustled; and that was the only sound that reverberated through the woods.

Her _goddamn_ voice, so _soft,_ so _true_ - sent him to his knees. His jaw tightened and his whole body tensed from hearing the finality in her voice. If what she said made him ache so much, they were more than they thought they were. He tried, tried to block those six words, pretending that she spoke in a language he couldn't understand.

All he felt now was her warm breath on his skin, and even that was paradise. Slowly, she cradled his face gently with her palms, and looked into his eyes of what was paralyzed uncertainty.

"Who's to decide that?" He snapped, his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage for he was afraid to see her leave him once more. Her hands just kept on caressing his face, her eyes closed, her body pressed against his.

"Ssssh... Tony." She hushed him brokenly, her palms holding his face.

"Ziva." He implored achingly, tormented that things have to turn out this way. "But we are _here._"

Four words from him and she understood the subtlety of those four words. They were here - to him - that was meant to be, for he had found her. It was under extreme circumstances he did. They were _fated_ to meet; not end up together. They were _fated_ to find each other; not be together. It could be meant to be. He was risking too much to be here with her, that wasn't meant to be.

That was, playing with fate.

"Are we, Tony?" She whispered hoarsely, opening her eyes and seeing his tears fall unchecked. She laid her fingers on his cheek, seeing a pain reflected deep in his soul. And that tore a hole through her, to see him hurt. They were never here to begin, they weren't meant to be.

"Do not cry for me," She said with ravaged sorrow in her voice, brushing the wetness off his cheek. "Be yourself, Tony. Do not cry for me. I am not worth your tears." Through the fog of her own anguish, she leaned towards him till their foreheads touched. That's when her cheeks and his felt each other, and he let out a strangled cry.

"We could still have a chance," he pleaded. "I'm fighting for you, Ziva." He was fighting himself, his own insecurities, he was fighting to salvage whatever they have left.

"I know." Her own tears churning shattered her voice, as she added on, "Believe me, Tony. I know. Just...be still. I know." Tears of agony began to spill from her eyes, god, this was so heart-wrenching.

"Listen to me," And she gently tilted his face to meet hers, "Chances so very often slip. You know that this is a lost cause Tony, everyone is after me. It's your job to protect me, and I know your heart... will always have my back. But this is happening. This is _reality._ You have to let me go. Tony, I know you're struggling."

The deathly calm voice in which she said to him this was chilling to the bone and he knew, there was no changing her mind.

So he held her, the beautiful woman who walked into his life and turned it all upside down with her words and her actions.

_"Having phone sex?"_

His heart stung with pain, as he held her tiny figure against him. "What..._what_ will I do without you?"

"You go forwards, Tony. You go forwards." She breathed, holding him close. He has to go forwards, there's no turning back to her, there's too much danger. "You go forwards. You move on. You forget me." And her palms, so very slowly, caressed his face once more, her fingers threading his jaws so very carefully once more. Her hands cradled his face once more. His palms covered hers, and she made no effort to move away. His throat closed up, for no words could be said.

Then almost ghostlike, she took a few steps back, facing him, going further and further into the woods before she turned her back and went.

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**_Note_****:** I will be on hiatus for two to three weeks due to my year-end exams, so this is like a last gift before I come back! Thank you and please review! - Sharmane :)


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